The Parent Teacher Partnership

The experts have been polled and the results are in: a positive parent-teacher relationship contributes to your child's school success.

"Easier said than done," you may be thinking. After all, there are teachers your child will love and teachers your child may not. There are teachers you'll like and dislike as well. There are teachers who may adore your child, and those who just don't understand him. But whatever the case, your child's teacher is the second most important person in your child's life (after her parents, of course). And you can help make their relationship a strong and rewarding one.

"Even if you disagree with a teacher, show her that you respect the profession because this will establish the basis for a productive relationship. A child can't really learn from a teacher if her parents don't respect the teacher and a teacher can't really teach a child if he thinks the parents don't respect him, so you want to create that trust, so those sacred learning moments will take place. In Finland, Italy and Japan, teachers are more respected by the entire culture, and as a result, kids perform better in school."
Michael Thompson, Ph.D.Author of The Pressured Child
"A positive parent-teacher relationship helps your child feel good about school and be successful in school," advises Diane Levin, Ph.D., professor of education at Wheelock College. "It demonstrates to your child that he can trust his teacher, because you do. This positive relationship makes a child feel like the important people in his life are working together."

Communicating well is a key factor for making this relationship work. "Communication on both sides is extremely important," notes teacher Susan Becker, M.Ed. "The parents need information about what and how their child is learning, and the teacher needs important feedback from the parent about the child's academic and social development."

But communicating effectively with a busy teacher, who may have up to 40 kids in a class, can be challenging. When's the right time to talk — and when isn't? How can you get her attention? What should you bring up with her with and what should be left alone? How do you create a relationship with someone you may only see a few times a year? And how do you do this without coming across like an unreasonable and over-zealous parent?


The Parent-Teacher Partnership
Nurturing the Relationship
Try these strategies to build a positive relationship with your child's teacher.

Approach this relationship with respect. Treat the teacher-parent-child relationship the way you would any really important one in your life. Create a problem-solving partnership, instead of confronting a teacher immediately with what's wrong. "Meet with a teacher to brainstorm and collaborate ways to help your child, instead of delivering a lecture," recommends Susan Becker, M.Ed.

“Read the school memos, rules and schedules so you know what’s happening and what’s expected of your child and of you. Keep school information in one place, or better yet, in a loose-leaf binder so it doesn’t get lost. This information should help you answer your child’s questions about homework and school policies. This is the single most important thing you can do to foster a positive relationship with the school.”
Diane Levin, Ph. D.Professor of EducationWheelock College
Let your child develop his own relationship with the teacher. "This is one of the first relationships with an adult your child may have outside the family unit. If you take a back seat and let the relationship develop without much interference, a special bond may develop," advises guidance counselor Linda Lendman. "For young children, the teacher-child relationship is a love relationship," adds Michael Thompson, Ph.D. "In fact, it may be their first love relationship after their parents and it can be pretty powerful and wonderful."

Try not to brag. Of course you think your child is brilliant, but bragging over her many accomplishments may send a message to the teacher that you think he may not be good enough to teach your child. "You don't need to sell your child to the teacher," notes Michael Thompson Ph.D., "you have to trust that your teacher will come to know what's important herself. Telling a teacher that your child loves to read will thrill the teacher. But challenging your teacher with statements like 'Susie read 70 books over the summer' or 'Matthew is a whiz at math,' may backfire."

Remember how you liked (or disliked) your teachers. Your experience at school is likely to affect your attitude toward your child's teacher. "It's important to leave your own baggage at the door, so you can talk about your child with the teacher (and not about you!)" adds Michael Thompson, Ph.D.

Adapted from :
PBS Parents, USA

Teachers Day Quotes

More is to be got from one teacher than from two books.

-- German Proverb

Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher.

-- Japanese Proverb

The most extraordinary thing about a really good teacher is that he or she transcends accepted educational methods.

-- Margaret Mead

Inside every great teacher, there is an even greater one waiting to come out. -- Unknown

One learns more from a good scholar in a rage than from a score of lucid and laborious drudges.

-- Rudyard Kipling

Inspired teachers...cannot be ordered by the gross from the factory. They must be discovered one by one, and brought home from the woods and swamps like orchids. They must be placed in a conservatory, not in a carpenter shop; and they must be honored and trusted.

-- John Jay Chapman

Teachers are ordinary people engaged in extraordinary work.

-- Hayes Mizell

We expect a lot of teachers but often forget they are ordinary people. They can be magicians for some students at specific points in time, but it is the rare teacher who can consistently work his or her magic on large numbers of students.

-- Hayes Mizell

Teachers open our eyes to the world. They give us curiosity and confidence. They teach us to ask questions. They connect us to our past and future. They are the guardians of our social heritage. [...] Life without a teacher is simply not a life.

-- Jonathan Sacks

Men learn while they teach.

-- Lucius A. Seneca

To teach is to learn twice.

-- Joseph Joubert

He who dares to teach must never cease to learn.

-- Unknown

Acquire new knowledge whilst thinking over the old, and you may become a teacher of others. -- Confucius

Teachers Day Fair 22nd to 24th August 2007

Dear EPPS parents,

EPPS.PSG will be organising a Teacher's Day fair in view of the forthcoming Teacher's Day which will be celebrated on the 31st of August 2007.

We will bringing together a wide range of items and gifts which the students can opt to put together or create to give to their beloved teachers on Teacher's Day. Our PSG members will at hand to assist the students to personalise their gifts for their teachers.

Students have a wider choice of materials which they can put together and create or they purchase finished goods put together by the PSG members for them. Priced from $1.00 to $5.00 maximum, the students will find it very affordable and convenient as they purchase these items at school.

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Dates : 22nd, 23rd and 24th August 2007

Opening Hours :

9.30 am to 10.30 am

11.30am to 2.00pm

3.00pm to 4.00pm

Venue : CCA Room ( Next to canteen)

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The funds raised will go towards the Needy Pupils Fund and EPPS.PSG funds. We look forward to your continuing support on this project.

Best regards,

Yvonne Chin

"Good" Moms Sacrifice For Their Kids.. Right?

A "good" mother puts her children first! Right? WRONG! This is a myth that needs to change for the health and well being of our families.

"Good moms" (even "good dads") who use selfless devotion often wind up making their kids suffer in the end! Allow me to explain.

In reality, selfless devotion often leads to having less "self" to give. A mother who burns the candle at both ends often ends only winds up "burntout."


And as we all know, "When mom ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"
So am I suggesting moms should become selfish? No. As a family counselor I have seen what neglect can do. What I am suggesting is a new paradigm. I recommend that parents become "self-full"-being fulfilled in their own life, so they can inspire their children to do the same. Our
children need us to model what in means to be a happy and healthy adult-not a stressed out frazzled one.


Mom, consider this article to be your wake up call that inspires you to realize that if you love your kids, you need to start putting some of your own needs first. Far too many children are becoming unhealthy adults who lack esteem and motivation. Parents whose lives revolve around their kids breed a sense of entitlement in their children who grow up wanting to
get , rarely wanting to give. Don't make this mistake!


So put a little of yourself first-for the sake of your kids.Find you don't even have a minute to yourself? Let me give you one simple suggestion. The
next time you are looking at one of the items on your to-do list, ask yourself the following question:

"Will this task fill me with joy or deplete my joy?"

Answer honestly from your heart. If the task will deplete your joy pass it up or ask yourself,


"How CAN I make this task fulfilling?" With some practice, you can transform even the most mundane task like scrubbing out the toilet by putting on your favorite music, repeating your favorite affirmation (or prayer) or even by hiring someone else to do it!

Mom, each day you make choices. The choices you make today determine how fulfilled you are. To live a happier life you only need to make better choices. The more you say "yes" from your heart, the more heartfelt your life will become. Mom, you deserve to be happy and your children deserve to have a mom who is happy!

The only question remains: Will you do what you know you need to do to give your child the gift of a happy mother?

By Kelly Nault
Kelly Nault, MA corporate spokesperson and award winning parenting author of "When You’re bAbout To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You " inspires moms to put themselves first—for the sake of their children. She shares time-tested tools that motivate children to want to be well behaved, responsible and happy!

Appreciate your child

Books and magazines about raising children - especially about babies, toddlers and teens - have never been more popular. Yet there's a whole hidden area of childhood in-between that almost no one seems to write about.

Building for the years to comePerhaps these years are so problem-free that parents don't often seek advice. Certainly children from about six to 12 often seem eager to please their parents, are keen to copy the behaviour of those they admire and most love to spend time with their families.

You should be working at building self-esteem, while nurturing the relationship you have with him before the more tricky days of adolescence come along. Throughout these years you need to make sure he has love, isn't under too much pressure to 'measure up' in particular ways and is appreciated for being himself.

It's also during these years that you have the greatest opportunity to teach your values and beliefs before your child turns outwards from your family towards peers during adolescence.

Use these years to spend time together - answer questions, especially those of a moral nature, and give facts about alcohol, drugs and sex before it becomes too difficult to talk.

These are the years when your child still wants to be close to you - make the most of them!

Tips for good relationships
*Keep up positive communication talking and listening, or it may become impossible in the teen years.

*Allow as much independence as possible - even if it involves some risks.

*Children need to discover things through their own mistakes.

*Give lots of praise. Children already get too much criticism at school, from friends, in competitive games etc. You can help build their self-esteem and self-worth.

*Help develop your child's conscience. Explain the rules of behaviour and why they are important. Don't expect too much - parents sometimes fall into the trap of measuring their children with an adult yardstick which means they'll always fall short. Avoid doing this with your children.

*Be positive, not negative. Avoid using cross words, scolding your child or finding fault too often: "You haven't washed your face properly", "Your clothes don't look right" or "I knew you were going to spill that".

*Let your children be children. They have an absolute right to be immature and to grow up gradually. Parents often expect too much too soon and this can lead to children feeling pressurised. Parents usually do this because they love their children and want them to be the best they can be - but too much pressure gives the message that your child isn't "measuring up" and can dent his self-worth.

*Teach by example. Your children are bound to imitate what they see you do. The best way to get your children to do what you want is to demonstrate it, not order them to do it!

By Eileen Hayes, BBC Parenting

Happy 42nd Birthday Singapore!

Young, confident and exuberant...

Happy 42nd Birthday Singapore

Confidence Building

By the time they reach school age, children develop an established sense of self-esteem. A child with high self-esteem has the confidence to try new things and make friends. A child with low self-esteem has a tougher time in all these areas, and needs extra help from you.

Maintaining your child's confidence
It's still vitally important for you to keep working at building your child's confidence throughout these years, especially as school life and friends may give it a sideways knock.

Suggestions

*Believe in your child and show it - let her know she's a worthwhile, lovable individual.

*Give praise and positive feedback - your child measures her worth and achievements by what you think of her. "Well done, that was hard, and you managed it" is music to young ears. Reassure your child that it's OK to make mistakes and that it's all part of growing up.

*Practise active, reflective listening - listen carefully, repeat what you've heard to make sure you understand and give positive prompts to encourage your child to continue.

*Acknowledge your child's feelings - and help her express them verbally.
Criticise behaviour, not your child - it's very easy to fall into this trap, but too much criticism tells your child she's a bad person and is causing things to happen because of her own stupidity. This is very damaging if it goes on for a long time. Be clear that it's an action you're angry about or behaviour you don't like.

*Respect your child's interests, even if they seem boring to you - take a genuine interest in your child's friends, and what's happening at school, and comment to show you're listening.

*Accept any fears or insecurities your child expresses as genuine - even if they seem trivial to you, don't just brush them aside. If your child says "I'm useless at maths" say "You're obviously finding maths a struggle, how can I help you?".

*Encourage independence - encourage your child to take chances and try new things. Succeeding gives a huge boost to confidence, and sometimes your child will need to learn by her mistakes.

*Laugh with your child - never at her.
*Focus on your child's successes - swimming, music, whatever she can succeed at.

Are you helping or hindering?
*"I told you so"

You've warned your child she shouldn't walk across the carpet carrying a cup full of milk and her dinner. She does it anyway, but trips and spills it. It's tempting to say: "Now look what you've done. I told you that you couldn't do it." Comments such as this make your child feel even worse than she does already for failing at something. Instead, try to give support by saying something like: "Oh no, you tried, but it didn't work. Never mind. Next time you could carry them one at a time."

*Talking about your child

It's not only the critical things said directly to your children that can undermine confidence. If your child overhears you tell someone that "she's got two left feet" or "she's so clumsy" they might think you really believe this and feel it can't be changed.

*Putting yourself down

Things you say about yourself can damage your child's self-esteem. Children learn a great deal from copying adults close to them. If you overreact to situations or pressure, your child may worry that you really can't handle life's challenges. This won't set your child an example of a positive, optimistic attitude to life and how to handle problems.

*Thoughtless remarks

Think before you speak and choose your words with care - it's very easy to say something without thinking, then wish you hadn't. "You're so clumsy" or "Don't be stupid" can be said in an irritated moment when the cereal is spilled or an innocent question is asked. Too many negative remarks like this can result in children believing they're useless or stupid.

All the following can damage a child's confidence:*saying you don't love them
*saying you wish they'd never been born
*insults or unkind remarks
*deliberately ridiculing things your child does or feels
*cruel teasing and sarcasm
*endless nagging
*aggressive shouting and swearing

Say "sorry" if you get it wrongNone of us are saints and we all sometimes say something and immediately regret it. If this happens, it's best to admit this to your child. Say: "I should never have said that. It was an unkind thing to say and I don't mean it. I'm just tired." Then have a cuddle and make up.

Adapted from : BBC Parenting